Pub Name Bakers Arms
Star Rating
Guests T MM FB BW FN
Guests failed
Date 23.2
Time
Beer Arkells
Condition Quite good
Price
Choice
Service Good
Clientele Middle age to older
Spoke to Landlady
Music Swing, rock - great
Notes “A little gem uncovered” is a bit strong but much better than the average fake row of beads in your rosary
Arkells prices on display – but can’t remember what they were. Unfortunately beer not very good
Smoky
Great music – swing, rock…
Middle age to older clientele but good mixture of both sexes; a couple of younger girls came in later
Red plastic seats – shame
Landlady came over and spoke to us for quite a time – worried about the effect of the smoking ban; very friendly
Uncle Rex said that we’ll be back – does he realize that we will have to honour this commitment – true pilgrims have an ethical code. Incidentally I can’t remember whether Uncle Rex decided this before or after the free massage he received.
Ordered a second half - unprecedented
Bionic Woman’s favourite pub so far – got atmosphere
"C" barmaid tradition upheld here
Their evenings unable to get better after this, and no prospect now of a visit to the Cricketers, Tourettes, Material Mama and Bionic Woman let the remaining Pilgrims continue their journey alone. Who knows such was the enthusiasm for this littler gem that the three of them may still be there?
Thursday, 26 April 2007
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
12 Bar
Pub Name12 Bar
Star Rating
Guests FN BC
Guests failed
Date 12.1
Time
Beer
Condition
Price
Choice
Service
Clientele
Spoke to
Music
Notes Bar think of a number was a cacophony of sound and vision. Distraction was the order of the day. There was no point in even attempting to relax or converse in the onslaught; although I did have an amusing conversation with Fat Neck about “good” motivation to be in his career. Being lecherous - teenage girls in uniform and the long holidays are not indicators. The beer was lifeless and flabby, rather like the service. I yearned to see Wilco Johnson who was playing exceptional straight ahead blues next door. They appeared to be having a rip roaring time. I cast my eye around the pub, a motley crew of bleached blond podgy school girls with their mum drinking pints and chain smoking; a biker with his woman who had breasts like two Zeppelins in a neck and neck race for all to see. Then walked in a crew who looked similar to us in age whom you seemed to know (our neighbour), perhaps they were there for Wilco? I was glad to be leaving the Bar think of a numbe
Star Rating
Guests FN BC
Guests failed
Date 12.1
Time
Beer
Condition
Price
Choice
Service
Clientele
Spoke to
Music
Notes Bar think of a number was a cacophony of sound and vision. Distraction was the order of the day. There was no point in even attempting to relax or converse in the onslaught; although I did have an amusing conversation with Fat Neck about “good” motivation to be in his career. Being lecherous - teenage girls in uniform and the long holidays are not indicators. The beer was lifeless and flabby, rather like the service. I yearned to see Wilco Johnson who was playing exceptional straight ahead blues next door. They appeared to be having a rip roaring time. I cast my eye around the pub, a motley crew of bleached blond podgy school girls with their mum drinking pints and chain smoking; a biker with his woman who had breasts like two Zeppelins in a neck and neck race for all to see. Then walked in a crew who looked similar to us in age whom you seemed to know (our neighbour), perhaps they were there for Wilco? I was glad to be leaving the Bar think of a numbe
Saturday, 21 April 2007
Galway Bay
Date: 26/01/07
Guests: none
Guests failed: all
Time:
Beer: Boddingtons (?)
Condition:
Price: 2.30
Choice:
Service: friendly
Clientele: varied
Spoke to:
Music: none?
Notes: The friendly barmaid tells guy to stop swearing as we come in, remarking that there are 'proper people here'. She’s looking forward to watching Big Brother later on. The investigator who is possibly Peahead tries to engage her in conversation but this doesn’t seem to develop possibly owing to the fact that Peahead's knowledge of the subject is somewhat lacking. (Recommend more detailed preparation before his next visit). One big room – old tatty chairs, tatty place. Old guy sitting in corner having his drink and reading the paper (I think). Group of people (Africans – Somalians?) playing pool – don't seem to mind us. Just blokes until girls with fat thighs come in (for the karaoke later on?). Pictures of horses on wall. Connections with Ireland around – not usre why– was there an Irish community here? Place had quite a reasonable feel to it - glasses taken back to the bar.
Guests: none
Guests failed: all
Time:
Beer: Boddingtons (?)
Condition:
Price: 2.30
Choice:
Service: friendly
Clientele: varied
Spoke to:
Music: none?
Notes: The friendly barmaid tells guy to stop swearing as we come in, remarking that there are 'proper people here'. She’s looking forward to watching Big Brother later on. The investigator who is possibly Peahead tries to engage her in conversation but this doesn’t seem to develop possibly owing to the fact that Peahead's knowledge of the subject is somewhat lacking. (Recommend more detailed preparation before his next visit). One big room – old tatty chairs, tatty place. Old guy sitting in corner having his drink and reading the paper (I think). Group of people (Africans – Somalians?) playing pool – don't seem to mind us. Just blokes until girls with fat thighs come in (for the karaoke later on?). Pictures of horses on wall. Connections with Ireland around – not usre why– was there an Irish community here? Place had quite a reasonable feel to it - glasses taken back to the bar.
Tap and Barrel
Date: 26/01/07
Guests: none
Guests failed: all
Time:
Beer: non existent
Condition:
Price: 2.60 (Guiness)
Choice:
Service:
Clientele: mixed, children playing on floor
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes:(Contributed by Little Chalfont) Large pub; no music playing. Music later on – Roger Lendon. TV screens, bit smoky, low beamed ceilings, was this the first time we saw Afro Caribbeans in a pub? felt comfortable. Didn’t seem to be looked at as outsiders. Irish signs still around. Generally big barmaids
Guests: none
Guests failed: all
Time:
Beer: non existent
Condition:
Price: 2.60 (Guiness)
Choice:
Service:
Clientele: mixed, children playing on floor
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes:(Contributed by Little Chalfont) Large pub; no music playing. Music later on – Roger Lendon. TV screens, bit smoky, low beamed ceilings, was this the first time we saw Afro Caribbeans in a pub? felt comfortable. Didn’t seem to be looked at as outsiders. Irish signs still around. Generally big barmaids
Evidence of Incompetence
At this point I am including point 9 from the 'minutes' of the 'meeting' written by Little Chalfont on 26/01/07 to give an insight into the drinkers' general level of incompetence (Ed).
9. AOB
i. Kitty - 26.50 spent - therefore if Master PJ gives me a tenner, Stig has 3.50 to go into next kitty
ii. Names for blog need to be finalized – personally am currently playing with Stig, Animal and CJ
iii.Need to decide name of blog – swindonpubsulike – is on the table
iv. Stars for pubs we went to - -it appears that none got any except for the Savoy, which got three – is there a link between this and the fact that it was out fourth pint?
v. Need for re-evaluation of star system, could also have league tables, not sure there can be a premier league in Swindon – judged by what we’ve seen so far, but we could have a Championship, League 1, and League 2. You can’t get into the Championship or League 1 unless they have real beer. But there’s got to be a place somewhere for Galway Bay
vi. Need to get a copy of list of licensed premises to check that haven’t missed other pubs (the Crumpled Horn may be the classy pub in Eldene and there’s one we haven’t seen listed). I’ll ask [name deleted for legal reasons - local council representative] if she can get me a list. Will also try to remember to print off list with stars we have given so far- for evaluation meeting.
vii. My jumper and jacket stank of smoke this morning
9. AOB
i. Kitty - 26.50 spent - therefore if Master PJ gives me a tenner, Stig has 3.50 to go into next kitty
ii. Names for blog need to be finalized – personally am currently playing with Stig, Animal and CJ
iii.Need to decide name of blog – swindonpubsulike – is on the table
iv. Stars for pubs we went to - -it appears that none got any except for the Savoy, which got three – is there a link between this and the fact that it was out fourth pint?
v. Need for re-evaluation of star system, could also have league tables, not sure there can be a premier league in Swindon – judged by what we’ve seen so far, but we could have a Championship, League 1, and League 2. You can’t get into the Championship or League 1 unless they have real beer. But there’s got to be a place somewhere for Galway Bay
vi. Need to get a copy of list of licensed premises to check that haven’t missed other pubs (the Crumpled Horn may be the classy pub in Eldene and there’s one we haven’t seen listed). I’ll ask [name deleted for legal reasons - local council representative] if she can get me a list. Will also try to remember to print off list with stars we have given so far- for evaluation meeting.
vii. My jumper and jacket stank of smoke this morning
Duke of Wellington ####
Date: Saturday 20th January
Guests: Auntie Rex, Fat Neck, Bionic Women, Top Cat
Guests failed:
Time:
Beer: Arkells
Condition: Excellent
Price:
Choice:
Service: friendly
Clientele:
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes: (Contributed by Top Cat) Re-assurringly there were 3 golf bags crowding the entrance and were welcomed by the smiling landlady who was dressed like a fairy. Fat Neck and Bionic Women were already present beaming with drinks in hand. The atmosphere was warm, friendly, best of all we had a small room all to ourselves. The Arkells 3B was drawn straight from one of the 3 barrels on the counter. It was gorgeous, nutty and smooth. This was the BEST pint yet and we had two. The bar was cluttered with golf paraphernalia and porcelain ducks lined up in 3’s on the shelf. We ended the match on a par, happy, safe in the knowledge that tonight we had survived the Crumpled Horn.
Guests: Auntie Rex, Fat Neck, Bionic Women, Top Cat
Guests failed:
Time:
Beer: Arkells
Condition: Excellent
Price:
Choice:
Service: friendly
Clientele:
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes: (Contributed by Top Cat) Re-assurringly there were 3 golf bags crowding the entrance and were welcomed by the smiling landlady who was dressed like a fairy. Fat Neck and Bionic Women were already present beaming with drinks in hand. The atmosphere was warm, friendly, best of all we had a small room all to ourselves. The Arkells 3B was drawn straight from one of the 3 barrels on the counter. It was gorgeous, nutty and smooth. This was the BEST pint yet and we had two. The bar was cluttered with golf paraphernalia and porcelain ducks lined up in 3’s on the shelf. We ended the match on a par, happy, safe in the knowledge that tonight we had survived the Crumpled Horn.
Crumpled Horn - ###
Date: Saturday 20th January
Guests: Auntie Rex, Top Cat
Guests failed:
Time:
Beer: non-existent
Condition:
Price:
Choice:
Service:
Clientele:
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes: (Contributed by Top Cat) The Crumpled Horn was a par 4. The sameness of the fairway presented a particular challenge to our navigation through this municipal course. There were grassy banks, no trees, shoe box houses all proudly displaying shiny cars which looked disproportionately large in their drive ways. Having negotiated the broad sweep, a sharp left and gentle rise took us to the green. We knew we had arrived as there as there was a collection of bottle bank pods. Decanting from the car we were presented with dark shadows, empty spaces and sheer walls crowded around. The Crumpled Horse rose above us like a walnut whirl in a theme park. The veranda was cluttered with chairs, garden heaters and wind blown rubbish. On entry we were 2 under par, my heart sank they were singing “you’ll never walk alone” as if in Klingon. To get an idea off what Klingon sounds like control/click on this Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam which means, incidentally, “today, is a good day to die”.
There was a hesitation as we approached the bar. The entire pub was pissed. In the far corner was a gaggle of pool players sporting red football shirts while singing particularly loudly and badly. We were 2 under par, the absence of real beer put us 1 under. However the Guinness served up was excellent. For the most part the clietelle paid little attention to us. A tall tattooed girl cruised closely past as if to listen-in to our voices, perhaps to establish whether we too were Klingon. Immediately in front of us was a wheel chair bound man being straddled by a woman either simulating sex or possibly in the act, it was difficult tell. A drunken woman had difficulty remaining perched on her stool. She was so drunk that ultimately she gave up on the stool, lurched forward, stumbled, stooped and totally disorientated left the pub. Our conversation, as in the Liden Arms was stilted as it was hard to relax. Distraction was a good idea at that point - a pound from the kitty went into a movie quiz machine. We were hopeless, that was soon over. Another shot down.
I liked the building, as it was full of dark corners. Little Chalfont daringly ventured upstairs, apparently finding only an empty space. He nevertheless seemed impressed. I surveyed the outer reaches spying 3 feral youths with no drinks. They were joined by a Klingon with a particularly huge protruding eyebrow and deep creases in his polished scalp. We thought it would perhaps be best to leave before the feral children smelled their prey....... The bar man came out from behind the counter exclaiming: “fucking hell, another 5 hours to go”. We left on a par.
Guests: Auntie Rex, Top Cat
Guests failed:
Time:
Beer: non-existent
Condition:
Price:
Choice:
Service:
Clientele:
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes: (Contributed by Top Cat) The Crumpled Horn was a par 4. The sameness of the fairway presented a particular challenge to our navigation through this municipal course. There were grassy banks, no trees, shoe box houses all proudly displaying shiny cars which looked disproportionately large in their drive ways. Having negotiated the broad sweep, a sharp left and gentle rise took us to the green. We knew we had arrived as there as there was a collection of bottle bank pods. Decanting from the car we were presented with dark shadows, empty spaces and sheer walls crowded around. The Crumpled Horse rose above us like a walnut whirl in a theme park. The veranda was cluttered with chairs, garden heaters and wind blown rubbish. On entry we were 2 under par, my heart sank they were singing “you’ll never walk alone” as if in Klingon. To get an idea off what Klingon sounds like control/click on this Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam which means, incidentally, “today, is a good day to die”.
There was a hesitation as we approached the bar. The entire pub was pissed. In the far corner was a gaggle of pool players sporting red football shirts while singing particularly loudly and badly. We were 2 under par, the absence of real beer put us 1 under. However the Guinness served up was excellent. For the most part the clietelle paid little attention to us. A tall tattooed girl cruised closely past as if to listen-in to our voices, perhaps to establish whether we too were Klingon. Immediately in front of us was a wheel chair bound man being straddled by a woman either simulating sex or possibly in the act, it was difficult tell. A drunken woman had difficulty remaining perched on her stool. She was so drunk that ultimately she gave up on the stool, lurched forward, stumbled, stooped and totally disorientated left the pub. Our conversation, as in the Liden Arms was stilted as it was hard to relax. Distraction was a good idea at that point - a pound from the kitty went into a movie quiz machine. We were hopeless, that was soon over. Another shot down.
I liked the building, as it was full of dark corners. Little Chalfont daringly ventured upstairs, apparently finding only an empty space. He nevertheless seemed impressed. I surveyed the outer reaches spying 3 feral youths with no drinks. They were joined by a Klingon with a particularly huge protruding eyebrow and deep creases in his polished scalp. We thought it would perhaps be best to leave before the feral children smelled their prey....... The bar man came out from behind the counter exclaiming: “fucking hell, another 5 hours to go”. We left on a par.
Liden Arms #
Date: Saturday 20th January
Guests: Auntie Rex, Top Cat
Guests failed:
Time: Beer:
Condition:
Price:
Choice:
Service:
Clientele:
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes: (Contributed by Top Cat) The first hole was the Liden Arms, my guess a par 3. The drive from the tee took us to within yards of the green. We had over-clubbed it, landing next to the graffiti decorated church. A chip shot brought us to within putting distance of the hole. Someone commented that there were no broken car windows as if to provide group re-assurance. Scattered around the green were car parks, a blue shuttered up Tesco’s Extra and bottle bank pods. Perhaps even a betting shop although I didn’t notice one. A bleak landscape.
A long putt brought us to the bar for pints of Arkells 2B and a lager. At 3.2% it one of few remaining light bitters in the UK. However, this was a pint of vinegar. Auntie Rex's lager was little better. Uncle Rex conducted a dynamic risk assessment, perhaps noting there were clientele with hair, a roaring fire and a tricycle in the corner, and re-presented our beer for exchange. The barmaid seemed disbelieving at first, no one else complained, but Tony’s face took on with an intensity that prompted her to defer to the land-lady. Our beers were replaced. I suspect no one else complained because no one else was drinking bitter. The Arkells 3B was not a lot better, tired through lack of turnover and pipe cleaning, albeit just drinkable. To my mind it has yet to meet it’s reputation as “Big Boys' Beer”.
In between regular sups I surveyed the bright walls whilst perched on a high chair. They were decorated by the usual Arkells epithets. A proliferation of televisions portrayed men running around a green field kicking a ball as if it were an important thing to do. People seemed happy drinking their lager and chain smoking. Auntie Rex enjoyed the music. Even knowing the names of the bands, more than I did. My enduring memory will be of the photographs above our table recording for posterity optimistic looking men posing mid construction of the pub and estate. And look how it has turned out.
As we tee’d off our leaving was noted. I stepped around the youth in a football shirt who emerged from the smoke filled public bar to spit. What will all these people do with themselves when smoking is banned in pubs as from 1st July I thought?
We were a disappointing one over par, a bogey on our first hole.
Guests: Auntie Rex, Top Cat
Guests failed:
Time: Beer:
Condition:
Price:
Choice:
Service:
Clientele:
Spoke to:
Music:
Notes: (Contributed by Top Cat) The first hole was the Liden Arms, my guess a par 3. The drive from the tee took us to within yards of the green. We had over-clubbed it, landing next to the graffiti decorated church. A chip shot brought us to within putting distance of the hole. Someone commented that there were no broken car windows as if to provide group re-assurance. Scattered around the green were car parks, a blue shuttered up Tesco’s Extra and bottle bank pods. Perhaps even a betting shop although I didn’t notice one. A bleak landscape.
A long putt brought us to the bar for pints of Arkells 2B and a lager. At 3.2% it one of few remaining light bitters in the UK. However, this was a pint of vinegar. Auntie Rex's lager was little better. Uncle Rex conducted a dynamic risk assessment, perhaps noting there were clientele with hair, a roaring fire and a tricycle in the corner, and re-presented our beer for exchange. The barmaid seemed disbelieving at first, no one else complained, but Tony’s face took on with an intensity that prompted her to defer to the land-lady. Our beers were replaced. I suspect no one else complained because no one else was drinking bitter. The Arkells 3B was not a lot better, tired through lack of turnover and pipe cleaning, albeit just drinkable. To my mind it has yet to meet it’s reputation as “Big Boys' Beer”.
In between regular sups I surveyed the bright walls whilst perched on a high chair. They were decorated by the usual Arkells epithets. A proliferation of televisions portrayed men running around a green field kicking a ball as if it were an important thing to do. People seemed happy drinking their lager and chain smoking. Auntie Rex enjoyed the music. Even knowing the names of the bands, more than I did. My enduring memory will be of the photographs above our table recording for posterity optimistic looking men posing mid construction of the pub and estate. And look how it has turned out.
As we tee’d off our leaving was noted. I stepped around the youth in a football shirt who emerged from the smoke filled public bar to spit. What will all these people do with themselves when smoking is banned in pubs as from 1st July I thought?
We were a disappointing one over par, a bogey on our first hole.
The Globe
Date: Friday Jan 5
Guests: Fat Neck
Guests failed:
Time: 9.10
Beer: John Smiths
Condition: Vile
Price: 2.40
Choice: Nil
Service: o.k.
Clientele: Burly Brutes
Spoke to: None
Music: None
Notes: Garish
Guests: Fat Neck
Guests failed:
Time: 9.10
Beer: John Smiths
Condition: Vile
Price: 2.40
Choice: Nil
Service: o.k.
Clientele: Burly Brutes
Spoke to: None
Music: None
Notes: Garish
The Plough
Date: Fri Jan 5
Guests: Fat Neck
Guests failed:
Time: 9.35
Beer: Arkells
Condition: Fine
Price: ????
Choice: Full Arkells Range
Service: Quick and Friendly
Clientele: Old , Mixed
Spoke to: None
Music: none
Notes: Pleasant
Guests: Fat Neck
Guests failed:
Time: 9.35
Beer: Arkells
Condition: Fine
Price: ????
Choice: Full Arkells Range
Service: Quick and Friendly
Clientele: Old , Mixed
Spoke to: None
Music: none
Notes: Pleasant
Prince of Wales
Date: Fri Jan 5
Guests: Fat Neck
Guests failed:
Time: 8.15
Beer: 6X
Condition: o.k.
Price: 2.30
Choice: Nil
Service: Surly
Clientele: 8, mixed
Spoke to: Hils and Jimbo
Music: ?????
Notes: Pleasant
Guests: Fat Neck
Guests failed:
Time: 8.15
Beer: 6X
Condition: o.k.
Price: 2.30
Choice: Nil
Service: Surly
Clientele: 8, mixed
Spoke to: Hils and Jimbo
Music: ?????
Notes: Pleasant
The Castle
Date: Fri Jan 5
Guests: None
Guests failed:
Time: 8.00
Beer: Archers Gold
Condition: Warm
Price: 2.30
Choice: Nil
Service: Quick
Clientele: 4 blokes
Spoke to: none
Music: Old Springsteen
Notes: a dump
Guests: None
Guests failed:
Time: 8.00
Beer: Archers Gold
Condition: Warm
Price: 2.30
Choice: Nil
Service: Quick
Clientele: 4 blokes
Spoke to: none
Music: Old Springsteen
Notes: a dump
The Victoria
Date: Friday Jan 5
Guests: Auntie Rex, Bionic Women
Guests failed:
Time: 7.30
Beer: Spitfire
Condition: Fine
Price: 2.80
Choice: Nil
Service: Quick
Clientele: Young, mixed
Spoke to: Kaza, Tim, Adver Rep
Music: Loud, Retro
Notes: Lively Pleasant
Guests: Auntie Rex, Bionic Women
Guests failed:
Time: 7.30
Beer: Spitfire
Condition: Fine
Price: 2.80
Choice: Nil
Service: Quick
Clientele: Young, mixed
Spoke to: Kaza, Tim, Adver Rep
Music: Loud, Retro
Notes: Lively Pleasant
Friday, 20 April 2007
One year, 110 pubs to go
On a (probably) somewhat less than auspicious night back in the mists of 2006, we decided that we had achieved most of our aims in life. Successful careers, happy families, mortages paid off, we had the lot. There was little left for us to do, apart from sit around drinking while we watched our waistlines slowly expand. And then one of us had a bright idea, which involved the perfect combination of Epicurean indulgence and Stoic puspose: have at least one pint in all 110 of Swindon's pubs in one year.
So here are our ratings and opinions.
So here are our ratings and opinions.
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